The comical wording of the typical RNS

Tomorrow's Business

Ping. A funny one here, doing the rounds of the City, taking the right mickey out of RNS statements.

I’ve seen similar before, but it’s a good one, highlighting the gap between the words used and the City’s interpretation of those words.

So investment in business means haemorrhaging cash. Rigorous cost discipline = last one out turn the lights off.

Remains on target means we can leave the downgrade till next quarter.

Strategic acquisition = we overpaid.

My favourite: Parachute means landing comfortably after being thrown from HQ by angry investors.

More examples please.

The serious point is this: if the language you are using is that easy to mock, isn’t it time to use different language?

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