Looking at my inbox in this, the first proper week back at work since the New Year, it’s clear there are only two stories you think we journalists want to hear about: health and trends.
I’ve got nothing against Dry January, Veganuary, detox diets, et al, – actually I have against anything that includes the word detox; the only thing you need for that is a functioning liver and kidneys – but trends are a much more interesting proposition. I mean, who doesn’t want to feel they are ahead of the game? Darling, I’ve been swapping fonio for quinoa for months now. Would you care for another alcoholic seltzer? That kind of thing.
The problem is, it’s not easy to get the balance right. You are looking for the Goldilocks prediction: something that is not so true as to be old-hat (veganism – who knew?) but equally not so out-there as to appear entirely made up. True but not too true, is the way to go.
I wouldn’t worry about things being empirically verifiable (no one will come back to you if they fail to materialise), but they do need to have an appealing ring of plausibility. If you told me Dairy Lea cheese slices were adorning the cheese board at the smartest dinner parties (retro, nostalgic, a bit knowing) I might suspect it’s not true, but it’s a story I’d be happy to go along with.
If you told me they were serving Pilgrim’s choice, not so much.
Most importantly, though, don’t send me an email that lists all of your clients, each of whom magically appears to be at the heart of some new trend. That really is just too good to be true.
You’re going to have to be a bit smarter than that