Get pitching, people

If there’s one thing all British newspapers get excited about, it’s a celebrity court appearance. If there’s one thing guaranteed to have them foaming at the mouth, it’s a celebrity court appearance in which the celebrity on trial is attractive and female. Whether it’s Amber Heard, Naomi Campbell, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan or Winona Ryder, their clothes will be as assiduously examined as their evidence, and the verdict as incisive as that of any judge or jury. 

Currently in the dock is one Gwyneth Paltrow, whose eight day trial should be watched avidly by any fashion PR keen to align their clients with any of Paltow’s looks. So obsessed are male and female editors alike with Gwynnie that this story will run and run. It’s only Day 2, and already I can imagine the following pitches gaining traction: “why do expensive clothes have names” / “the timeless appeal of a cream knit” / “why tread sole boots aren’t just for the countryside” / 10 of the best budget reading glasses” / what is Rich Mom Energy” / why it’s okay to wear the same outfit two days in a row”. Gwyneth is a bona fide Hollywood star, a wellness guru and a source of endless fascination – not least because, aged 50, she looks better than she ever has. Get pitching, people.