Punch me in the head

Newspapers get offered op-eds from the flaks of talking heads all the time.

Typically, they have one thing in common: they make a case for the merits of watching paint dry.

They are from someone you have never heard of saying something predictable, dull or worthy.

They want to demonstrate “thought leadership” or some other tedious virtue.

I’m always amazed at the amount of effort that must have gone into words that are racing to the email shredder.

What do we want?

Yesterday the Evening Standard had a terrific op-ed from Simon Wolfson of Next, who put the boot into the government for its immigration failures – and suggested a solution.

It got picked up on Radio 4 today.

It helps that Wolfson can write (the words were all his own).

And this sort of hit isn’t going to happen very often. FTSE 100 bosses are highly trained in the art of saying very little slowly for fear of offending customers; they don’t usually stick their neck out.

For smaller fry trying to get in the press, they need to be punchy.

I think some flaks have been misled into thinking that because business is important, we only want to write about it in very serious ways. That we are seeking reasoned on-the-one-hand-this, on-the-other-that type of stuff.

What we really want is the sound of someone being whacked squarely in the head.

I’m exaggerating, but not by that much.