Ping. A funny one here, doing the rounds of the City, taking the right mickey out of RNS statements.
I’ve seen similar before, but it’s a good one, highlighting the gap between the words used and the City’s interpretation of those words.
So investment in business means haemorrhaging cash. Rigorous cost discipline = last one out turn the lights off.
Remains on target means we can leave the downgrade till next quarter.
Strategic acquisition = we overpaid.
My favourite: Parachute means landing comfortably after being thrown from HQ by angry investors.
More examples please.
The serious point is this: if the language you are using is that easy to mock, isn’t it time to use different language?