Why your journalist is late for meetings

We might, on balance, have been too keen to discuss the failings of the flak trade rather than the hack trade this year.

Let’s, by way of a Christmas present, address that right now.

Before Omicron, I met mates from The Guardian, The Telegraph and The Times for a drink – separate occasions.

Each time, the hack was late. Not I’m-five-minutes-around-the-corner late. Proper late. Rude late. Disorganised late. Drunk late.

None of them were particularly apologetic. I’m a hack, they said. Turning up late is what I do.

The oddity of this is that in their actual working lives they can’t afford to be late. In the corporate world, deadlines might be guidance only. In hackland, they are real.

The paper is going off-stone on time, come hell or high water.

So what gives? I asked around and got this guide to why your journalist is late.

When The Telegraph journalist is late it’s because they are required to operate in a time warp.

When The Guardian journalist is late it is because they struggled to assemble their new Brompton.

When the Evening Standard journalist is late it is because they were fending off invites to breakfast meetings from PR people who don’t realise that’s when we write the paper. 

When The Times journalist is late it’s because they were at a job interview with Bloomberg.

Happy Christmas to all.

** TB is taking a break it may even have earnt. We will be back on January 10.