The cost of staff tea breaks and other terrible ideas

Tomorrow's Business

A few hacks do brisk trade in taking the mickey out of daft press releases. This feels a bit lazy. The poor flak is only doing their clients bidding.

But every once in a while, the offering is so silly that temptation proves irresistible. There are diary stories to be filed and easy jokes to be made.

For persistence, credit is due to the flak who has been pursuing me for days offering data on the cost to businesses of employee tea breaks. There’s a breakdown available by industry or location. They’ve done a full investigation.

The thing is, I very recently took the mickey out of exactly that idea. Might as well do a survey on the cost of staff toilet breaks, the premise being presumably they must be reduced. Or the cost of lunchtime. Or the cost to businesses of staff having a birthday once a year.

All of which must be cheaper than the cost of all this wasted PR.

If I’m feeling kind, I sometimes warn the flak that he is in danger of heading into the diary pages. “Great” he will reply, without fail. “When do you think it will run?”

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