Happy Grump Day!

RoxStar

I was sorting through my elderly mother’s desk the other day and came across a lovingly-kept batch of letters I’d written home from boarding school in the Seventies.

“Dear Mummy and Daddy, I hope you’re well”, they each began.

Did I really hope they were well? I suppose I did on some level, but I can’t pretend it was top of my worries. That would have been whether we were having cold sardines on toast again for tea or if I’d failed my Latin test.

No. I know the real reason I wished they were well. It was because our letters had to turn on to the second side, and that was an extra line safely banked at the outset.

I always think of that whenever I get an email that opens with the same greeting (or, as often as not, “I hope your well” - grrrrr). It tends to happen on Tuesdays and Thursdays, because Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays have their own formulae: “Hope you had a great weekend”; “Happy Hump Day!”; and “Yay, nearly the weekend. Have you got plans?”

It’s all a bit meaningless, isn’t it? I mean, it’s kind of you to ask and all that, but you don’t really care. And why should you? As long as I’ve got breath enough in my body to promote your product on my pages, that’s all the health you require me to have.

My point is that what I value most in your emails is concision. Save reflections on the weather, etc, for social emails and get straight to the point. It really is fine to dive straight in with your pitch. I won’t think you rude.

And seriously? Happy hump day? What’s that all about?